Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Stories from a hot day... and a sneak attack

I guess now that my baby is three months old, I should try working on my body to get back into shape. "Back" into shape is a pretty big stretch, considering I'm not sure if or when I've ever been in shape. In between kids, I used to do pretty well losing weight, but always thought in the back of my mind that I'd end up pregnant again. Not this time. This time is for sure, we are done. That being said, I'm at this very awkward in-between clothes stage. Maternity clothes have all been given away or sold. (Gotta love e-bay!) But I'm still too fat for the clothes I was wearing last summer. Being a SAHM, it's not that big of a deal. I don't leave the house much, so my Orioles t-shirt with the bleach stain on it and old lacrosse shorts are pretty much my uniform. However, there are times when I have to go out, and I'd like to not look like a fat slob when this happens. Cut to this weekend, I had some "Me" time. And it was honest to goodness Me Time. I went out Alone, which rarely happens. I spent three hours out shopping. Some things we needed around the house, a couple cute outfits for the kids, and finally, some new clothes for myself.
I dread shopping for myself. You couldn't pay my husband enough to be around when I am trying to shop for myself. When things don't fit right, which is often since I want to wear a smaller size than I am, I get in a horrible mood. It's not pretty. Thinking back, he was doing us all a huge favor having me go shopping alone. Anyway, not only did I decide that I needed to accept how I look for now, and buy this body some clothes because the uniform is not appropriate for public display, but I also hit some huge sales! And then, I did it, I went for it. I was feeling somewhat confident, and loving the sales, so I bought myself two bathing suits. I haven't bought a new bathing suit in a long time, and I dreaded doing so, but it was time. I also bought a sundress that is pretty cute, and won't have people mistaking me for an escaped zoo animal.
That's a lot of backstory for the point of this post. So, Sunday I took my older three kids to a birthday party at a farm. After a big debate with myself, I decided to go for wearing the sundress. It was about a bazillion degrees out, and on the farm in the sun, I could literally feel myself baking. There was so much sweat running down my legs under the dress... well, no more details are needed. My almost 2 year old, Trouble, is a bit of a handful, to put it lightly. I brought the stroller for him, which turned out to be a good thing because he kept trying to run away. Also, the stroller held everyone else's drinks and purses. I did get him out to see the animals, etc. I was holding him on my hip to show him the different animals, and he was squirming like crazy to get out of my arms. When we were on the hay ride one of my friends asked me what was on Trouble's legs. I looked and they were all blue. I thought he was bruised from trying to escape from the stroller. My other friend said it looked like the stamp they had put on our hands at the gate. Sure enough, his stamp had rubbed off. No big deal. There were a few other close calls, where Trouble took off running. At the end of the day, I won the battle, and returned home with all three kids. The 2 year old did not escape. Although, I did consider leaving him there with the goats at one point.
After the party, I took the kids for a visit at my mom's house, and I ran a few errands. I stopped at a couple stores, then went back to get the kids. I was sitting in a chair talking to my mom and reached my hands up to fix my ponytail. This ponytail was made of the most disgusting sweaty hair imagineable. My mom said, "Oh my God, what's wrong with your arms? Are you bruised?". I looked, and the whole underneath side of both my arms was blue. Smurf blue. I looked like a smurf from my armpit to my elbow. It turned out that the dress I debated on wearing (clearly made the wrong decision there) was literally rubbing off onto my arms. Mystery solved... I also dyed my sons legs blue. We're just one big happy smurf family.
I had started with a headache earlier in the day from the heat. At the point I realized my arms were blue, and I remembered how many people I had talked to and how many stops I had made, the headache turned into a migraine. I was ready to get home, but we live 40 minutes from my mom. I had the older two kids go potty, which is always the best decision. (Those 'I'm going to pee my pants' rides home are the worst!) Great parenting, I realized I hadn't changed Trouble since before the party. It was really only a couple of hours, but I wanted to get him in a dry diaper for the ride home. I was in a hurry because of the headache, so I just stood him up and pulled down his shorts to change him. I undid one side of the diaper, and good lord, it was a SNEAK ATTACK! This diaper was so full of poop that I was actually confused. He didn't stink at all. It didn't stink at all. And this kid does some whoppers most of the time. Even up to the minute I opened the diaper, I hadn't known he pooped. Complete sneak attack. (Headache grows.) I have to quickly lay him down and use the whole travel pack of wipes to clean this thing. In the midst of the poop confusion, I pulled his shoes off to make sure they didn't come out poop covered. Once the mess was clean, I put his pants back on and started putting his sandals back on. They wouldn't fasten. I had broken the little tab that holds them together when I pulled them off. I was seriously wishing to just blink and get us all home. So, I carried him to the van, got everyone buckled, and prayed they'd all fall asleep. Thankfully they did. And two days later, I'm happy to report that my arms are back to their original pasty white color.

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