Thursday, January 19, 2012

Trying to keep up

I think about blogging. I do definitely think about it. But I rarely get on the computer anymore. Any "free" time I have I try to rest. This pregnancy is wearing on me more than I ever thought it would. I have several stories to share from the past few months. I think this post is going to turn into more of a pregnancy complaint session though. I don't hate being pregnant. But I absolutely don't love it. I am so ready to not be pregnant anymore. I've been pregnant since June of 2010, with the exception of 10 weeks in 2011. That's close to 2 straight years of pregnancy. Being pregnant with a 10 month old and a 2 year old who is trouble, not to mention an 8 year old and a 4 year old... well you can see how it can be difficult. I know for sure (really for sure this time) that this is my last pregnancy. I thought last year was my last pregnancy. I thought Donkey was my last baby. But I was wrong, Baby5 is going to be the last one, for sure! I feel guilty sometimes, thinking I should be enjoying the wonders of pregnancy more than I actually am. I think I should be more excited about every kick and punch that I feel. Instead, I can't wait for the pregnancy to be over. I've never been a great pregnant person. I've never understood the famous people who love their pregnant bodies and everything that goes along with being pregnant. I think that the reason I'm feeling it more this time is because I've been pregnant for so long. My body didn't even get a chance to heal itself between these two babies. Donkey will only be 11 months old when this baby is born. So, here are a few things I won't miss when I'm not pregnant anymore, in no particular order... unless I go back and arrange them in order.
1. Maternity clothes - I've had most of the same ones for over 8 years. Not fashionable anymore.
2. Heartburn - it's worse than it's ever been this time. I wake up at night with acid in my throat and feel like I'm choking. I carry antacids everywhere.
3. Exhaustion - I know newborn exhaustion, and I won't love it. But I'm so mentally and physically tired these days that I need a change.
4. Back pain - the baby has a foot or something lodged in my back ribs and it hurts really badly.
5. Hip pain - I have sciatica which is a shooting pain from my right hip into my leg. But I also have constant hip pain.
6. Not sleeping through the night - again, I know that won't happen for a while with a newborn, but I wake up every 30-45 minutes to pee or rotate from one side to the other b/c my hips hurt. And rolling over is no small feat... It's like moving a whale.
7. Being out of breath - I walk up our small flight of stairs (7 steps) and feel like I climbed a mountain.
8. Headaches - I get them more this pregnancy than in the others.

Things I am looking forward to doing when I'm not pregnant anymore:
1. Painting my toenails
2. Running after the kids
3. Carrying the laundry up & down the steps without being out of breath
4. Picking up my 2 year old
5. Sitting on the floor without getting stuck
6. Wearing regular clothes
7. Running... not like a runner, but being able to run out to get the mail, not moving at a snail's pace
8. Sleeping on my stomach!
9. Eating without getting heartburn
10. Having a drink - beer, wine, etc. Not getting drunk, just having a drink

Don't get me wrong... I do think pregnancy is a miracle. It truly is. The fact that I am growing a person inside of me is pretty amazing. And I do love watching my belly twitch and move as he moves around. I look at my other 4 kids and remember when they were inside of me. It's amazing that is how they all started out. So, I do appreciate pregnancy. I am happy to be pregnant... I am just ready to no longer be pregnant!

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